Brown Sugar Cinnamon Apple Pastries

I'm sorry... did you say brown sugar cinnamon apple pastries?!

Yes. I did. I made it up me-self! No pintrest! Can you believe that? I thought my own thoughts, ate some delicious food, and now I'm sharing my recipe with you!

This was the dessert (not desert) for our autumnal equinox dinner tonight. Apples and cinnamon and allspice are very autumnal and delicious. This tartlet dessert was a perfect ending to our fatty fatty delicious dinner and it all went together like Jenny and Forrest. So nomsy.

What you need:
1/4 cup Brown sugar
3 tablespoons cream cheese (this can be estimated as scooping cream cheese is a pain in the ass)
1 tsp allspice
1.5 tsp cinnamon
1 granny smith apple
1 can of croissant dough
1/4 cup butter (softened)
1 egg

Step 1: Cut up the apple into thin, small slices. Try not to eat the whole apple while slicing it.

Step 2: In a bowl combine brown sugar, softened butter, cream cheese, allspice, and cinnamon. This will not delicious but it will taste like a dream. A good dream too.

"Things that don't photograph well" - By Alison Murray

Chapter 2:

Also This.

Step 3: Flatten out the croissant rolls. You should have 4 large rectangles (8 rolls). Leave the dough in large rectangles and try to roll them out to be a little flatter. Cut the rectangles into 4 smaller rectangles (16 smaller rectangles (holy cow, if I type rectables instead of rectangles one more time...)).

Step 4: Fill each rectangle with a little bit of the cinnamon brown sugar mix and put in 3 or so slices of apple.

Like a dream!

Step 5: Gently fold the dough to wrap the apple as much as you can. My friend and officemate, Jie is making pork dumplings for our class tomorrow. I was trying to channel her dumpling making skills while folding these little apple thingers. I don't think it worked. 

Step 6: Probably should have told you to preheat the oven at 350 earlier huh? Do that now. One day I'll learn.

Step 7: Put the pastries on a cookie sheet. They won't expand too much so they can be somewhat close together. Here is a picture of my best pastry. Try to make yours look like this one and none of the other ones I made.

"Oh girl! No you didn't!" - You

"Yes. Yes, I did." - Me

Step 8: Combine egg with some water (just a splash of water) so you can cover the pastries with egg. This makes sure they're moist while in the oven. Then put a sprinkle of cinnamon on top for both flavoring and good looks. We're all about lookin' good.

Step 9: Put those suckers in the oven for about 15-20 minutes at 350. Once they've browned on the top, they're good to take out. They are not yet ready for consumption as they are probably still about 350 degrees in the middle. Maybe wait 5 minutes before eating them. They'd probably be super delicious with some vanilla ice cream. Yummm....

Such delicious little pastries!

Ways I could have and possibly should have modified this recipe:

1) Eat while enjoying a glass of Brother Vilgalys Krupnikas

2) Use Trader Joe's pumpkin pie spice 

3) Add pumpkin? Question mark?

4) Make the pastry part a little larger so the innards aren't falling out. Srsly. Get it together, innards.

5) Rather than slicing the apples, chop them** and mix it in with the stuffing.

Delicious Level: 4/5 Noms (om nom nom nom nom)

Difficulty Level: Easy Peasy.

Lesson Learned: Utilize one of the above mentioned suggestions. Also buy more Krupnikas next time in NC.

Here's to eatin' good and eatin' local! Cheers and uff-da!

** If Waffle House added chopped apples to their hash brown topping options, what would they call it?

A PhenAUTUMNal Meal!

Bonjour mon petit choux!

It's been about 6 billion moons since I last posted. My excuses include: grad school, moving, and not having a CSA. You're probably thinking "yeah yeah yeah! WHATever!" but it's true. Certain things in Central, PA are unreasonably expensive and some things are oddly cheap. The CSAs here (and PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong) are very expensive and out of my price range. Thus, I eat from trader joe's, the herbs my plants produce, and the occasional fruits and veggies my advisor brings into the office.

In May I wrote a review of an ultimate tournament and this semester I'm writing for a qualitative methods course. In both instances, I'm allowed to write the word "I". This is odd. Shouldn't I have to cite all of my thoughts (Winner, R., 2013)?! I remembered how much I love writing for the sake of writing without having to cite someone. One day I'll be badass enough to be able to cite myself and get away with it (Murray, A., 2013).

Today is the Autumnal Equinox. Thus, my new roommate and dear friends hosted family dinner with an autumnly (it's a word. Don't worry about it.) themed dinner. My late grandma used to say "if you've heard this story before, don't stop me because I love telling it!" In this way, Lauren has told me about 50 times that it is "Winter Squash Awareness Month". I let her tell me over and over because it's a ridiculous idea. What in the world does that even mean? Should we be aware the winter squash exist? Should we go to a winter squash shelter and adopt? Should we go to a winter squash shelter and volunteer to feed them? Regardless, we honored this special occasion with butternut squash baked pasta that I will spend the next 2 weeks working off.

This is a two part post: 1) Butternut Squash Baked Pasta; and 2) Baked Cinnamon Apple Pastries

Butternut Squashed Baked Pasta
Here is the original recipe from Cooking Light (LOL at the 'light' part)
http://www.cookinglight.com/food/top-rated-recipes/five-star-casseroles-00400000039138/page5.html

Que necesitas:
1 butternut squash
2 cups shredded mild-stinky cheese. We used smoked gouda and swiss.
1 lb bacon
4 cups milk
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 cup flour
1lb baking pasta (penne eg.)
3 shallots
Balsalmic
Rosemary
1 large appetite
1 exercise routine earlier in the day
Parmesan

Step 1: make your dreams come true
Step 2: make him fall in love with you
Step 3: girl it's plain to see... you're the only one for me

Step 1 (for real): cube the butternut squash. Butternut squash is a royal pain in the ass to cut up. Peeling it is not an option nor is cutting it with a dull knife. You need to cut it into 3/4" slices.

You should also cut the skin off of the squash rather than peeling it. It will be a lot easier and a lot quicker and you really won't lose much of the meat of the squash.

Step 2: Boil the squash for about 5 minutes, strain it and put it on a pan (a pan with oil so the squash doesn't stick).  Before putting the pan in the oven at 400 degrees, put some cut up rosemary on it, salt, and pepper and a little balsalmic.

This is the unsticking process for the squash if you fail to use oil.

"Sh*t! Should have used oil!" - (Abbott, L., 2013)

Step 3: Slice shallots and set them aside. Put about .75lb of bacon into a pan. I prefer thick cut, slovenian smoked bacon that was smoked by an old Croatian man named Elmer in Cleveland. If this is not an option, go for the highest quality bacon you can find. Perhaps the Chop Shop in Asheville can help you.... mmmm bacon. Cook the bacon until crisp and remove it to cool 

Step 4: Add shallots to the pan full of bacon fat. Yes. You read that correctly. Just park further away when you go to work tomorrow. I promise it's worth it. Saute them in the bacon fat until they're slightly  browned. 

Bacon fat + Shallots = Delicious

Step 5: Combine your squash, chopped bacon, and shallots in the pan and remove from heat. This will be added later.

Be sure to have a pet take up about 1/3 of the kitchen floor. This is most helpful.

Step 6: Cook the pasta. We used whole wheat penne pasta from Trader Joe's... to make it... you know... healthy?

Step 7: Time to make the Rue. Put the flour, salt, pepper, nutmeg, and milk into a deep pot. Whisk it until well mixed. On medium heat, continue to whisk until thickened. Once near a boil, remove from heat and mix in cheese.  You should now have three main components: The cheese rue, pasta, and butternut squash/bacon/shallots. 

Step 8: Mix all them things you made together and take in the delicious smells. 

All them things about to get mixed

"Things that don't photograph well" - By Alison Murray

Chapter 1:

This.

Step 9: Empty it all into a casserole dish(es), top with parmesan, and bake at 400 until melty and delicious looking. About 10 minutes or so.

Step 10: Serve up with some roasted veggies (we went with brussel sprouts and carrots for health) and eat.

Roasted Veggies = Health

Step 11: Presentation is everything. Make sure to enjoy this autumnal deliciousness with people you love. And wine. Wine is key. It is delicious.

Holy om noms, batman!

This dish was delicious. Probably very fattening but who counts calories anyway? Counting is exhausting. To quote Barbie "Gee! Math is hard!" Don't even bother.

Delicious Level: 4.5/5 Noms (om nom nom nom nom no...)

Difficulty Level: Lots of steps to time out! 2 people in the kitchen definitely helped!

Lesson Learned: More bacon, obvi. Ingles has a section called "Bacon". We should all learn a lesson from Ingles.