What do I do with my sad, dying basil plant? Cheesy Homemade Eggplant Marinara Pastas

G'day!

Today's recipe was made about a week and a half ago (oops). Too bad this semester is whooping my tail and I have no time for blogging (as if graduate school is supposed to be this much work)! Ugh as IF!  If you've been displaced to the frozen tundra of central, PA or other northern states, your basil is probably starting to wilt and look a bit sad. Maybe it's depressed that you live in a frozen tundra and it's trying to send you a message: go back south. According to my comrade, EGG, the south has already risen again!

She obvi meant "What's" I think Erin still has a flip phone without autocorrect

So until I went home to my mommy the other week, I was working with an Osterizer Galaxie blender from around 1975. Like many of the appliances Andrew has given me (my mom gave me the blender though), it was probably one of the first of it's kind! I, like Tim Gunn, made it work though. I did work at the Planet Smoothie for 3+ years as a professional blendgineer after all. Anyway, I couldn't really use said blender to make pesto because... you know... it wasn't the bomb and I couldn't make it work (sorry, Tim Gunn). So what do I do with the end of my sad, dying basil plant? Invite Brittany and Austin over for dinner and make a Splendid Table inspired pasta dish! My mom made me the original splendid table dish for my 16th birthday and I fell in love with it.

The Osterizer Galaxie in all its glory

What you need:

Handfull + of basil

1 can of whole tomatoes

2tbsp of tomato paste

2 large shallots

1 clove of garlic

1 lb pastas that soak up sauce

1 Eggplant (how fall festive!)
1/2 cup gorgonzola

Wine

olive oil

salt

pepper

crushed red pepper flakes

Step 1: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and then go outside and collect the end of your sad basil plant

Poor little basil plant :( I'll miss you, summer herb!

Step 2: Kitchen prep: chop the garlic, shallots, basil, and eggplant. The eggplant should be cut into 1"x 1" cubes. Lauren told me that eggplants are very moist vegetables and can take over with their moistness. Moist. A way to combat that is, once you cut up the eggplant, put it in a colander in the sink and sprinkle salt on the eggplant. Once it's dried out, rinse the salt off and prepare it for the oven.

Step 3: Coat a cookie sheet in olive oil and put in eggplant, covered in salt, pepper, and olive oil. Throw it in the oven for about 15 minutes or until the top is browned. Also put the pot of water on to boil for the pastas.

Step 4: As the eggplant is roasting, begin to make your sauce. Put olive oil, salt, pepper, shallots, and garlic into a pan. Once it has started to brown, add the tomato paste.  Top secret tomato paste tip!! My mama once said: once you opened a can of tomato paste, scoop the rest of the paste into tablespoon clumps and put them on wax paper in the freezer. Once they've hardened, put them in a plastic bag to store for later usage. Those moms.... ya know? I feel like only a mom would know that.

Step 5: Once your paste has properly integrated itself into your shallots and garlic, add the basil and get it all mixed up real good and stuff. Then add your wine. Usually about 1/4 cup to 1/3 cup will do. Really just try not to drink the whole bottle before you finish making the sauce. You need SOME of the wine and maybe you have some lying around that you don't plan to drink. Perhaps you put a bottle in the freezer to cool faster and forgot about it and went to bed.... Perhaps you made a winesicle in the freezer.... Anyway! Add the wine and reduce this delicious mixture into one beautiful piece of condensed marinara.

It start like dis....

...and reduce down to dis

Step 6: At this point, your eggplant should be done and your sauce is also almost done. Open a can of whoopass. Now open a can of tomatoes. I buy unsalted tomatoes but salted works too. Just trying to watch my figure :) Not really. I just prefer my own amounts of salt. Drain the juice from the tomatoes and crush them! This is a good time to get out any anger issues you might have. Take it out on the tomatoes. 

TJ's has the best canned tomatoes, obvi

Step7: Add the crushed tomatoes and red pepper flakes (optional) to the reduced mixture and heat it all up.

For the record, you can stop here and can this marinara sauce. It's delish.

Step 8: Add the eggplant to the sauce. Once the pasta is done, drain it and fold the sauce into the pasta. You're welcome to stop here OR you can add about 1/2 cup gorgonzola to the pasta and either bake it for about 5 minutes or just let the heat melt the cheese into the dish. Either way it's supremely nomsy.

Presentation is everything! What a terrible picture.

Delicious Level: 5/5 Noms (om nom nom nom nom nom)

Difficulty Level: Easy Peasy.

Lesson Learned: Take a better picture of the final product. This one sucks.

Here's to eatin' good and eatin' local! Cheers and uff-da!

Brown Sugar Cinnamon Apple Pastries

I'm sorry... did you say brown sugar cinnamon apple pastries?!

Yes. I did. I made it up me-self! No pintrest! Can you believe that? I thought my own thoughts, ate some delicious food, and now I'm sharing my recipe with you!

This was the dessert (not desert) for our autumnal equinox dinner tonight. Apples and cinnamon and allspice are very autumnal and delicious. This tartlet dessert was a perfect ending to our fatty fatty delicious dinner and it all went together like Jenny and Forrest. So nomsy.

What you need:
1/4 cup Brown sugar
3 tablespoons cream cheese (this can be estimated as scooping cream cheese is a pain in the ass)
1 tsp allspice
1.5 tsp cinnamon
1 granny smith apple
1 can of croissant dough
1/4 cup butter (softened)
1 egg

Step 1: Cut up the apple into thin, small slices. Try not to eat the whole apple while slicing it.

Step 2: In a bowl combine brown sugar, softened butter, cream cheese, allspice, and cinnamon. This will not delicious but it will taste like a dream. A good dream too.

"Things that don't photograph well" - By Alison Murray

Chapter 2:

Also This.

Step 3: Flatten out the croissant rolls. You should have 4 large rectangles (8 rolls). Leave the dough in large rectangles and try to roll them out to be a little flatter. Cut the rectangles into 4 smaller rectangles (16 smaller rectangles (holy cow, if I type rectables instead of rectangles one more time...)).

Step 4: Fill each rectangle with a little bit of the cinnamon brown sugar mix and put in 3 or so slices of apple.

Like a dream!

Step 5: Gently fold the dough to wrap the apple as much as you can. My friend and officemate, Jie is making pork dumplings for our class tomorrow. I was trying to channel her dumpling making skills while folding these little apple thingers. I don't think it worked. 

Step 6: Probably should have told you to preheat the oven at 350 earlier huh? Do that now. One day I'll learn.

Step 7: Put the pastries on a cookie sheet. They won't expand too much so they can be somewhat close together. Here is a picture of my best pastry. Try to make yours look like this one and none of the other ones I made.

"Oh girl! No you didn't!" - You

"Yes. Yes, I did." - Me

Step 8: Combine egg with some water (just a splash of water) so you can cover the pastries with egg. This makes sure they're moist while in the oven. Then put a sprinkle of cinnamon on top for both flavoring and good looks. We're all about lookin' good.

Step 9: Put those suckers in the oven for about 15-20 minutes at 350. Once they've browned on the top, they're good to take out. They are not yet ready for consumption as they are probably still about 350 degrees in the middle. Maybe wait 5 minutes before eating them. They'd probably be super delicious with some vanilla ice cream. Yummm....

Such delicious little pastries!

Ways I could have and possibly should have modified this recipe:

1) Eat while enjoying a glass of Brother Vilgalys Krupnikas

2) Use Trader Joe's pumpkin pie spice 

3) Add pumpkin? Question mark?

4) Make the pastry part a little larger so the innards aren't falling out. Srsly. Get it together, innards.

5) Rather than slicing the apples, chop them** and mix it in with the stuffing.

Delicious Level: 4/5 Noms (om nom nom nom nom)

Difficulty Level: Easy Peasy.

Lesson Learned: Utilize one of the above mentioned suggestions. Also buy more Krupnikas next time in NC.

Here's to eatin' good and eatin' local! Cheers and uff-da!

** If Waffle House added chopped apples to their hash brown topping options, what would they call it?

A PhenAUTUMNal Meal!

Bonjour mon petit choux!

It's been about 6 billion moons since I last posted. My excuses include: grad school, moving, and not having a CSA. You're probably thinking "yeah yeah yeah! WHATever!" but it's true. Certain things in Central, PA are unreasonably expensive and some things are oddly cheap. The CSAs here (and PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong) are very expensive and out of my price range. Thus, I eat from trader joe's, the herbs my plants produce, and the occasional fruits and veggies my advisor brings into the office.

In May I wrote a review of an ultimate tournament and this semester I'm writing for a qualitative methods course. In both instances, I'm allowed to write the word "I". This is odd. Shouldn't I have to cite all of my thoughts (Winner, R., 2013)?! I remembered how much I love writing for the sake of writing without having to cite someone. One day I'll be badass enough to be able to cite myself and get away with it (Murray, A., 2013).

Today is the Autumnal Equinox. Thus, my new roommate and dear friends hosted family dinner with an autumnly (it's a word. Don't worry about it.) themed dinner. My late grandma used to say "if you've heard this story before, don't stop me because I love telling it!" In this way, Lauren has told me about 50 times that it is "Winter Squash Awareness Month". I let her tell me over and over because it's a ridiculous idea. What in the world does that even mean? Should we be aware the winter squash exist? Should we go to a winter squash shelter and adopt? Should we go to a winter squash shelter and volunteer to feed them? Regardless, we honored this special occasion with butternut squash baked pasta that I will spend the next 2 weeks working off.

This is a two part post: 1) Butternut Squash Baked Pasta; and 2) Baked Cinnamon Apple Pastries

Butternut Squashed Baked Pasta
Here is the original recipe from Cooking Light (LOL at the 'light' part)
http://www.cookinglight.com/food/top-rated-recipes/five-star-casseroles-00400000039138/page5.html

Que necesitas:
1 butternut squash
2 cups shredded mild-stinky cheese. We used smoked gouda and swiss.
1 lb bacon
4 cups milk
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 cup flour
1lb baking pasta (penne eg.)
3 shallots
Balsalmic
Rosemary
1 large appetite
1 exercise routine earlier in the day
Parmesan

Step 1: make your dreams come true
Step 2: make him fall in love with you
Step 3: girl it's plain to see... you're the only one for me

Step 1 (for real): cube the butternut squash. Butternut squash is a royal pain in the ass to cut up. Peeling it is not an option nor is cutting it with a dull knife. You need to cut it into 3/4" slices.

You should also cut the skin off of the squash rather than peeling it. It will be a lot easier and a lot quicker and you really won't lose much of the meat of the squash.

Step 2: Boil the squash for about 5 minutes, strain it and put it on a pan (a pan with oil so the squash doesn't stick).  Before putting the pan in the oven at 400 degrees, put some cut up rosemary on it, salt, and pepper and a little balsalmic.

This is the unsticking process for the squash if you fail to use oil.

"Sh*t! Should have used oil!" - (Abbott, L., 2013)

Step 3: Slice shallots and set them aside. Put about .75lb of bacon into a pan. I prefer thick cut, slovenian smoked bacon that was smoked by an old Croatian man named Elmer in Cleveland. If this is not an option, go for the highest quality bacon you can find. Perhaps the Chop Shop in Asheville can help you.... mmmm bacon. Cook the bacon until crisp and remove it to cool 

Step 4: Add shallots to the pan full of bacon fat. Yes. You read that correctly. Just park further away when you go to work tomorrow. I promise it's worth it. Saute them in the bacon fat until they're slightly  browned. 

Bacon fat + Shallots = Delicious

Step 5: Combine your squash, chopped bacon, and shallots in the pan and remove from heat. This will be added later.

Be sure to have a pet take up about 1/3 of the kitchen floor. This is most helpful.

Step 6: Cook the pasta. We used whole wheat penne pasta from Trader Joe's... to make it... you know... healthy?

Step 7: Time to make the Rue. Put the flour, salt, pepper, nutmeg, and milk into a deep pot. Whisk it until well mixed. On medium heat, continue to whisk until thickened. Once near a boil, remove from heat and mix in cheese.  You should now have three main components: The cheese rue, pasta, and butternut squash/bacon/shallots. 

Step 8: Mix all them things you made together and take in the delicious smells. 

All them things about to get mixed

"Things that don't photograph well" - By Alison Murray

Chapter 1:

This.

Step 9: Empty it all into a casserole dish(es), top with parmesan, and bake at 400 until melty and delicious looking. About 10 minutes or so.

Step 10: Serve up with some roasted veggies (we went with brussel sprouts and carrots for health) and eat.

Roasted Veggies = Health

Step 11: Presentation is everything. Make sure to enjoy this autumnal deliciousness with people you love. And wine. Wine is key. It is delicious.

Holy om noms, batman!

This dish was delicious. Probably very fattening but who counts calories anyway? Counting is exhausting. To quote Barbie "Gee! Math is hard!" Don't even bother.

Delicious Level: 4.5/5 Noms (om nom nom nom nom no...)

Difficulty Level: Lots of steps to time out! 2 people in the kitchen definitely helped!

Lesson Learned: More bacon, obvi. Ingles has a section called "Bacon". We should all learn a lesson from Ingles.